1 Notes

Laurence Anyways, my favorite SIFF film so far. A highly stylized, three hour long extended music video about a Montreal couple, half of whom is transitioning. Afterward I wandered into Half-price and bought some books by Carl Jung.

“One could say that the real picture consists of nothing but exceptions to the rule, and that, in consequence, absolute reality has predominantly the character of irregularity” - Jung on the danger of using statistics to theorize about ‘regular people,’ in The Undiscovered Self

1 Notes

I passed the MSF last weekend! I was the only woman in a session of 12 dudes. (Apparently every other session this year was a 50-50 split). My cornering and slow U-turns/figure 8’s are good, but my 90 degree turns from a stop need work, and I also need to speed up. The instructor kept shouting at me: “Punch it, Margaret!” (That’s not my name). Overall, by the third day, we were sharing snacks, jokes, and support- lots of camaraderie. I came away with a tremendous respect for the amount of mental and physical energy, coordination and focus it takes to operate a motorcycle. I can see how you’d get in a meditative zone, as I’ve heard happens, by continually anticipating and reacting to the environment. The glimmer of that feeling is what appeals to me. At the same time, your neurons are firing, as your brain sends signals to all four limbs to do their unique, complex jobs right, or else.The fascinating thing is that this happens every waking moment. Operating a dangerous machine just makes you so acutely aware of it.

20 Notes

He made a sound of agreement, long and low, against her throat. 
A line from some smut I’m writing. I used to be wilder and have been in a more cautious place with love and sex for about a year. It’s a little bit boring. I’ve taken up studying mythology and getting a motorcycle license for excitement. Instead of acting on my every desire, now I make stories out of some of them.

He made a sound of agreement, long and low, against her throat.

A line from some smut I’m writing. I used to be wilder and have been in a more cautious place with love and sex for about a year. It’s a little bit boring. I’ve taken up studying mythology and getting a motorcycle license for excitement. Instead of acting on my every desire, now I make stories out of some of them.

4 Notes

I Am Never Coming Back 
I couldn’t find the source information for this image so I gave it the film title I think it should have.

I Am Never Coming Back

I couldn’t find the source information for this image so I gave it the film title I think it should have.

Notes

Vacation

We drove around the peninsula, and slept the first night on a cliff. Balancing on driftwood with whiskey in my coffee thermos. There was a tree splayed out with its roots attached to the land beside and below it; you could get under a thing like that. Our beer cans cracked the silence while families fell asleep with the sun. A child woke me up, screaming, and I imagined its family getting mauled by a bear. I’m totally scared of bears. It was cold in August on this cliff with my man, who didn’t really love me as much as I thought. We walked Ruby Beach and had sex behind a rock. Then I told him, “That wasn’t very romantic.” No wonder we broke up! You can’t go back and fix a thing like that. The next night we ate at the restaurant of our hotel on Crescent Lake. It felt like being at the Catskills resort in Dirty Dancing. Remind me not take my honeymoon at Niagara Falls. -So, you’ll go to Acapulco. It rained as we were waited on with the kindness of someone who knows it’s a special occasion that you’re spending $30 on a piece of fish. He’s seen the tourists come and go. The young couples like us trying to figure ourselves out. I have halibut with a lemon burre blanc that melts apart in my mouth like a kiss on ecstasy. He has pork chops with some sort of berries inside, feta mashed potatoes and green beans. We drink a local red blend called Storm King, as we sit in wicker chairs on the verandah, listening to the rain. I’m cozy in an oversize white sweater I bought for this purpose. He is so handsome. I think of how we got scared in our dinghy on the lake, of getting out too far, and how he got us back. I could see us coming back here every five years for our anniversary. We have a fight at the drive-in movie theater in Port Townsend. It’s about celebrities…it’s totally stupid. He slams the car door in my face. In our suite, the same one where they filmed the afternoon sex scene in An Officer and A Gentleman (there’s even a plaque on the door) he comes to me on the bed in code. Cooing like a dove up the length of my leg is his apology. We drink cocktails from plastic cups in the hot tub. We watch seagulls circle and squawk from the deck of Sirens, holding hands. We get on the ferry back. I hate to see the wilderness recede behind us, as a thing we failed to get lost in.

1 Notes

Contents of My Freezer

Winter minestrone soup from winter 2012 

Ancient salmon fillet

Ancient chicken breasts

Raw food for kitty

Frostbitten bags of mixed vegetables and corn

Trader Joe’s Chicken Serenada (good for two meals)

50 chicken and napa cabbage dumplings, homemade from Ping’s ($13.99)

2 oz. of psilocybin chocolate wrapped in foil

Two heart-shaped ice cube trays

2 Notes

Thoughts on Porn

From an ongoing file I keep on my desktop.

Sometimes, some girls, are doing things so incredibly nasty, and enjoying them so much, you think these girls are on hella drugs. They’re on the good shit. Whatever that means. Because they got tricked into this moment or they tricked themselves or they’re crazy, sexy, cool bitches who gag on convention. Because their faces are burned onto this eternal not-film, chopped and screwed, untitled snippet that it took me 20 seconds to get off to, because of the sheer audacity of it all. Two guys, three chicks, countless ways. This is not a Jane’s Addiction song. These girls are you and me after school in a different world. Our play ended on trampolines and in bathtubs, but with clothes on. Pine needles tangled in my hair. Jeremy washed my feet. My life’s most erotic moments happened long before I ever had sex. I gave you chaste little kisses that made everyone blush. It took hours to climax back then. The tension was the best part. We struck and sustained it like a chord.

Source

Notes

Conversations with Kitty

Do you like rock ‘n’ roll? You know what, it’s the devil’s music. If you listen to rock ‘n’ roll, it means you’re a juvie. It means you smoke reefer and carry a switchblade! It means: you’re Bad News. 

***

That cat thinks she’s the queen of the neighborhood. I got news for you. SHE IS!

To Be Continued

1 Notes

How Could I Forget

Hi.

Hi.

What are you doing?

Transcribing.

What for?

For music journalists. They send me an interview and I type it up. What are you doing?

Might go to bed soon. After I make love to myself.

OK then!

35 Notes

A Haiku for Spring Breakers:  Gratuitous guns ruffle feathers, but I love A good trashterpiece

A Haiku for Spring Breakers:

Gratuitous guns
ruffle feathers, but I love
A good trashterpiece